


Inspection Day

by Batdad (MizGoat), DivineValley



Series: Quartermaster and The Speck [2]
Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Friends With Benefits, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-18
Updated: 2018-02-18
Packaged: 2019-03-20 13:52:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13719066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MizGoat/pseuds/Batdad, https://archiveofourown.org/users/DivineValley/pseuds/DivineValley
Summary: Sten is going crazy about The Speck's first inspection in two years and what it could mean for the station's unapproved residents, but the inspector is nothing like anything they could have expected.





	1. Chapter 1

“So are you angry that they promoted you, or are you angry you’ve been sent out to inspect some relay station in the absolute back of beyond?” Tadhg pinched the brow of his nose and frowned as he spoke.

“I can be angry about both,” Steady said and internally flinched at how petulant he sounded.

“Look, it’s bad enough that I’m now in charge of 36 men where I used to only have to worry about 9, and I have never met the sergeant who’s now in charge of my squad. I really should be working at settling things down after the leadership shake up, but instead I have to head out to absolute nowhere to check on a station that everyone else seems to have forgotten about the existence of.”

“And you couldn’t put it off because…” Tadhg was arching an eyebrow in that way that suggested that Steady was being ridiculous, which was unjust because Steady was never ridiculous.

“Look, you pull up the files on this place you know what the first entry is?” Steady leaned back on the bench, and folded his arms over his chest. Tadhg was intimidated by him once. Normally he was glad to see Tadhg being a little more assertive, but he could do without the sass.

“No, but you’re about to tell me.”

“You see that they didn’t have medic on station when a viral epidemic broke out. It took a station wide crisis to get them a medic. I understand prioritizing resources, but that’s ridiculous.” Steady crossed his arms over his chest.

“Ok but why now? You just said you’d rather be back with the platoon,” Tadhg asked around a yawn. He laid down on the bench on the far side of the shuttle and made it clear that he would rather spend their trip napping.

“Because in four days the 212th is shipping out and it puts us too far out of the hyperspace lanes that head that way, and if we leave from the new post the two day trip could take all week. Better to cut our losses.”

“Well if it’s all strictly necessary and unavoidable, then I don’t see the sense in being mad about it.” Tadhg tucked an arm behind his head and closed his eyes.

“Sure, I’ll just stop being angry about things being done wrong by others making my life a mess. I’m sure that will improve things.” Steady cut back, but Tadhg just waved dismissively.

“Well I’ll just wake you up when we get there shall I?”

Steady settled in to wait knowing that there was a reasonable chance he would doze off as well.

 

* * *

 

“ **IF YOU CAN BREATHE YOU CAN CLEAN!** ” Sten’s voice seemed echo through the halls of The Speck as the entire crew were furiously scrubbing every inch of the place as their sergeant was slowly losing his mind. Rushing toward the tiny room his stowaways used as their bunks. “ **I WANT THIS PLACE SPOTLESS! I WANT THIS PLACE SHINER THAN A NEWLY BORN CLONE’S ASS!** ”

Slamming his fist on the outside panel letting himself in he counted four heads, good they were all here! “Up! Out, now!” He ordered as he watched them scramble out of their bunks.

-Woah, sarge what’s going on?-

“You know that inspection that was supposed to happen next week? **WELL BOYS IT’S HAPPENING IN A FEW HOURS! MOVE IT, MOVE IT! TO THE MEDBAY!** ” He screamed as he pushed them all out and urging them to get their asses in gear.

Two years, two fucking years he’s been in charge of this place and not once, not once had there ever been an inspection, he never thought it would happen, why would it?! Who comes out here but there it was a message on his terminal telling him it was happening in a week but then he woke up this morning to find it was now taking place today!

To-fucking-day!

He needed a drink.

Desperately.

Arriving in the medbay where Blitz was in the middle of getting everything more organized than usual the medic watched as Sten went right to his small quarters where his bed was. Following quickly Blitz exchanged a few worried looks while Sten seemed to be groping at the walls. Letting out a victorious grunt he pressed into a wall revealing a hidden room that Blitz had no idea was even there.

“Get. Inside. Now.”

As they all piled into the tiny room that had bunks in them, Sten turned to Blitz and gripped his shoulders tightly trying his best to keep them from trembling. “I’m losing my mind give me drugs.”

“Sten, stop you just need to calm down. We’re all going to be fine. You’re the boss.”

“I’m...I’m the boss.”

“You’re going to charm the hell out of those inspectors.”

“I’m going to charm the HELL out of those inspectors!”

“This is your station!”

“THIS IS MY STATION!”

Sten screamed as his confidence slowly started to return when the PA system crackled to life. There was some muttering before an awkward cough before the trooper who was in the control room finally spoke.

“This is Shepard here sir...the uh...the inspection team seems to have arrived earlier than expected. They’re about to land in docking. O-over and out.”

Releasing Blitz, Sten reached for the pillow on the bed before pressing it to his face and letting out a long suffering scream before dropping it and taking a deep breath and forced a large smile to appear on his face.

“Well!...Let’s try to not get fucked, shall we?” He said in a chipper tone as he heading toward the docking bay while inside he was in complete and utter turmoil.

Of course they were from the 212th, of course they were because the universe right now had decided Sten had been having it too easy, at least it wasn’t Commander Cody, he wouldn’t have been able to lie when it came to him.

He didn’t know these two, may have been new maybe he just never met them before, right now Sten had to focus on getting them along as quickly as possible. So he smiles, greets them happily, puts on a dazzling act so far he’s not getting much a response, maybe if they found him annoying they’d just leave.

Please leave.

Sten goes about giving them the full tour, letting the lieutenant check out anything he requested, so far so good. Few comments here and there but they were managing to do pull this off. It wasn’t until he was alone in his office with him things started to go wrong.

“How do you feed them?”

"Uh...we have a cafeteria? Where everyone eats. Don't you guys have those in the 212th?"

“The extras. How do you make sure they have enough food?”

Fuck. Remain calm.

"Look I don't know what you're talking sir, we have enough food for the amount of soldiers I'm given each rotation."

“Alright, either you you have consistently gotten air filters of a substandard quality for the last 7 months, or you have about 5 more men on this station than you’re reporting. You can either make me dig for where the extra food comes from, or you can tell me.”

Actually it was four...but maybe Blitz counted as five? No he didn’t need to worry about Blitz he was safe, it was the four little brothers crammed in the wall he needed to protect. Maybe this guy will understand? Maybe he wasn’t some reg following lap dog of the GAR, he knew a few like that, they always rubbed him the wrong way but he didn’t get that feeling from the lieutenant.

"...I get extra supply from some traders I've made contact with. And when that's not enough at times I give them portions of my meals. I dunno what kind of man you are Lieutenant but I'm tentatively deciding to trust you."

“Good because I’m about to tell you you can quit wasting credits and going hungry. Food’s the easiest supply to get extra of. There’s errors of margin for spoilage on the ledgers that Defense Requisitioning uses to make sure we’re all being good little quartermasters. Keep your order in 10% or so and no one notices. Tell hq some beetles came in off my shuttle and you’ve set out traps but they’re stubborn little poodoos.”

"Oh...well shit was not expecting that. Okay...sorry I'm a little thrown off guard here. Alright here's my situation...I get clones here, one's who are in danger of being decommissioned. They're hurt, crippled or just can't handle battle anymore. I get them here, make them part of the crew for some time, send them out to another station the cycle repeats until they just end up somewhere else...somewhere far away. Safe. I've got four right now, they're good men. One's a kid, barely seven one of yours actually."

“Oh. Well I figured this far out they weren’t separatist spies. But, the new kid, is the new kid blind?” There was interest in his voice, so he knew Hawke? Thought everyone Hawke had been attached to had died before he was sent here.

"Yeah Hawke, I'm guessing you knew him? Was pretty surprised when he was brought on. He's a good kid, keeps the others from going crazy at least. I've got a veteran from the 501st, one from the 104th and even a kid from the guard. Hehe ah he tried attacking a senator, shit it was hard getting him here almost lost him"

“I can imagine. The chess players don’t much care for the chessmen having opinions on how to play the game. And yeah, I know Hawke. He spent a few days chewing me out for saving his life when it just meant he was gonna die on Kamino instead. And I let him because he was right.”

The kid had it rough no arguing that, the lieutenant looked a bit sorry but there was also relief in his face, guess he was happy to hear he was okay.

"...Alright I'll let the boys out, they'll be happy to not be locked up, you can talk to them, ask questions if needed, they're all well behaved for the most part."

“I’m sure. I’ll just need to twig my corporal in to the situation. He’s a good kid. He’ll keep the secret.”

Smiling a bit Sten nodded his head leading the Lieutenant to the medbay, to the hidden room where the guys were being held. Kicking the wall a few times the door opened and he smiled as they squinted at him in confusion. "Boys say hello to our new best friends! Get your asses out here and introduce yourselves like proper young men! Stop groaning, were you all napping I don't think so!"

“My word, but you are all a sad looking bunch. At least try and stand at attention. There’s an officer here, for kriff’s sake,” Steady added with a grin at the men tumbling out of the hold. Tadhg clutched his data pad and tried not to flinch at the display of what was clearly some bizarre sort of sergeant humor.

"Y-yes sir! CT 10-0005, sir!" Vic shouted with a blush while only Mouse and Hawke stood at attention while Howler yawned loudly still looking half out of it.

"They are a sad bunch but I believe it's the influence of their Sergeant that's made them this way." Blitz commented though he looked amused. "You shove them into my office while screeching the entire morning about inspection and going crazy on the rest of the crew, I almost am afraid to imagine what you were like in a battalion."

“I see. First it’s substandard rations, now inspection dodging. Clearly there is some unauthorized methods of discipline going on here. The GAR regs are more than just a paperweight, Sergeant.” Steady paused a moment then added “Small Gods you lot, at ease all ready, you’re making my shoulders stiff just looking at you.”

"What can I say? We've been on our own all this time and no one sent me a medic until now after we had an epidemic sooo the GAR is kinda not in my good graces right now. You're the first inspector we've ever had and they're supposed to be monthly I've been here almost two years." Sten said, sighing when his men finally relaxed. "Look I know we're not professional, not by a fucking long shot but I guess...I dunno, I like to think I'm trying to make this place a home?"

Everyone needed a home, they all deserved one he wanted to give them that at least for a little bit.

“Well, nothing to complain about there. The war’s a survival game now, do what you have to. By the way, how you holding up, Hawke? Didn’t expect to find you here. Last time I saw you, you were getting transferred to Kamino. Not that I’m complaining.”

"...Wait...St-Steady?" Hawke whispered as he stepped forward doing his best to follow the voice. That was Steady, he knew it, he knew that voice! Feeling a sudden lump in his throat, Hawke couldn't help but smile weakly. "I...I thought I'd never...holy shit. I'm fine, I'm great."

He said as he quickly wiped at any tears at were building up in his eyes. "I can't believe it, I...I never had a chance to say goodbye to you and I can't believe you actually remembered me."

Smiling to himself, Sten gently messed up Hawke's hair. "Who could forget you? You're a brilliant kid. The 212th was lucky to have had you when they did."

“I’m over here, kid,” Steady said as he put his hand on Hawke’s shoulder. “Goodbyes are in pretty short supply in the GAR, but second chances are even harder to come by. It’s good to see you.”

“Y-yeah it’s...it’s so good to see you too!” Hawke choked out clearly feeling overwhelmed right now. It was a pretty damn touching scene and Sten was happy to see Hawke gaining some closure when another trooper appeared in the doorway looking rather nervous.

“Sir! Uh, uh...Brig and Marks are fighting sir...full out brawl.”

Ah. Yes, this was happening now.

During inspection.

Their first inspection.

“Okaaay well I’m going to be taking care of this. So any chance you’ll stay here and not watch me potentially murder some people?”

“Discipline is your problem, not mine. When you sort that out come find me and I’ll show you some of the finer points of requisitions paperwork and how to really get your books in order.”


	2. Chapter 2

 

Steady smiled. This mission that had seemed like a massive hassle was turning into an unexpected bright spot. He’d stopped caring about who won the war a long time ago, but this was, well, you took victories where you could find them. He turned to Blitz.

“I’ve already started dealing with the shortages in the larder, how are you doing with medical supplies?”

“As good as you can get in a neglected station like this. Barely had anything it’s a wonder no one died before I came.” Blitz said with a sigh as he went to the storage closet showing Steady and Tadhg how bare it was. “Thankfully nothing major has happened. Few injured but nothing fatal. Sten has been able to manage without a medic for a long time. He’s more resourceful than he lets on.”

“If he can snag men out from under Kamino’s nose, I don’t doubt it. Took me a year of fishing just to get a competent assistant. But I’ve been the quartermaster for the 212th since first Geonosis. Bilking the army for more supplies than it thinks we need is my specialty. Anyway, this is good. The bean counters don’t actually like to see too many reports of ‘all clear.’ Makes them think the inspectors aren’t looking hard enough. ‘Medical supplies below mandatory minimums. New inventory management system implemented and medical staff trained on its use’ will make them happy and make it easier for me to make sure I can come back for a follow up in a timely fashion.” Steady grinned. Tadhg ducked his face behind his data pad to hide a laugh. This was a chance to do real good and those had been fewer and fewer lately.

“Well we can definitely use it. He can definitely use it.” Steady followed Blitz’s gaze back into the office and saw that Howler and Vic we’re gone. Probably to go see how Sten was handling the fight.

“Probably going to force those two to hold hands and say the love each other. Or the this is our get along bracelet which is handcuffs. That is actually hilarious.” Blitz snorted softly. “Mouse here was at Geonosis too though at the tail end of it. I’m training him to be my assistant in a way. Sten was mentioned he was there in those first days but never talks much about it.”

“A lot of us don’t. Casualties were even higher then. You didn’t have officers with actual combat experience. Pretty much everyone lost someone.” Steady paused as his own memories of those days threatened to creep up on him.

“Listen, why don’t we leave Tadhg and, Mouse was it? To get a count and order set up and I’ll show you how to make inventory more streamlined going forward. Because I’m sure you have better things to do than count bacta patches.”

“Please most days I’m a catatonic this has been thrilling for me.”

Blitz signed something to Mouse and it clicked that the quiet trooper was deaf, and that he might have some troubles working with Tadhg. But Tadhg was clever and tended to put people at their ease. They’d complain if it became a real problem.

Blitz listened to everything Steady had to say with the rapt attention of one who had clearly been struggling and was glad to have the help. Steady knew that most troopers considered him a little broken for actually liking to do paperwork, but really how could anyone dislike being this useful? He let him get so absorbed in his work that he startled when Sten came back in with two recalcitrant troopers in tow.

“Marks, Brig you have something to say?”

“Aw sarge...c’mon...” They both groaned clearly embarrassed with being forced to hold hands.

“We’re brothers...and we love each other.” They said in unison when Sten gave them both light hits on their heads making them groan even louder.

“We’re sorry for being idiots during our first inspection.” They said next causing Sten to smile even wider.

“It’s okay boys I forgive your stupidity. I’m also glad you can show your love for each other! Now get Blitz to patch you up cause you two are on refresher duty for the week!”

Steady laughed.

“This will keep. See to your charges,” he told Blitz.  
  
“Sten, maybe we could finish our conversation from before in your office?”

“Uhhh you’re going to teach me how to do paper work aren’t you? Noooo...” Sten groaned melodramatically, and he tilted his head back actually pouting a bit. “Fine. Just as long as you make us painless as possible.”

“But of course. I want you to actually do it after all.”

Steady waited until they were back in Sten’s office alone before adding, “look, I don’t mean to come in here and throw my weight around. Truth is I’m impressed as hell with what you’ve put together here. I just want to help and supplies is quite literally my life’s work.”

“Hey I’m not threatened in any way. It’s...it’s actually a huge relief to know there’s someone willing to help. I’ve been at this on my own for some time and I’ve managed but the pressure is on. This war is getting worse by the day there’s more brothers that are hurt, being sent out into battle ill prepared. There’s only so much I can do. I know I can’t save them all but I need to save as many as I can. I have to.” Sten clenched his fist and their eyes locked.

“I get that. I really do. Used to be the Commander would give me all the new recruits that were a little raw. Not bad per say, but that needed a little more growing up. And I liked it that way. My squad doesn’t get into the front lines much. There’s no safe, but I could give them a good shot at living long enough to get good. These days? They all come out two years shy of finished. We do what we can. And if any of us are gonna make it out of this, it will be because we held together.”

"Yeah...14. So far I've got 14 brothers safe, doesn't seem like much, I used to belittle myself for it, could be more, could be so much more but now it's more than I ever dreamed of and when the group I have now it'll be 18. Usually I don't get so attached but with those four they're...something special. They really feel like little brothers and I'll do whatever I have to give them safety and peace." The statement came with a little furrow of the brow as if Sten had surprised himself with his own candor.

“Well you aren’t going to have to do it alone. To that end, let me help you get your supplies streamlined so that they take as little of your time as possible. And just so we’re blatantly clear, you ever need something that you don’t want to order up from HQ, let me know. Not all of my acquisition skills are with steering the empty suits at Defense Requisitions. I want you to succeed here.” Because this is damn good of you, Steady thought. And because he couldn’t shake the feeling that this idea seemed familiar.

"...Thank you. Really thank you. I really thought this inspection may have been the end but now it's turning out to be a kriffing miracle almost! And I stopped believing in shit like that a long time ago!" Sten smiled. Steady realized he liked that smile. That he’d be willing to put some work into seeing more of it. Into seeing more of Sten.

“You and me both. But if I’ve learned anything it’s that if there’s any good in this life, it’s because we wanted it, and worked to make it happen.”

"Yeah, we make our own happiness, our own futures. I want to see the end of this war. I swear to see the end of it and make a life for myself. Not sure doing what but a life I can call my own."

“At the very least, I want to get to the point I can stop making decisions that have other people’s lives attached to them,” Steady said. “Just, have things be boring for a while.” And there it was, again. The feeling that he’d had this conversation before.

“Wouldn’t mind keeping Tadhg nearby,” Steady added and after a pause he continued, “even if it means keeping his idiot pilot lover nearby too.”

"Aww don't approve? Young love is bliss, trust me, I've had to make a public announcement every rotation for the crew to stop having their fun in the supply closet closest to my office, don't need to hear that. Then I've got Howler making eyes at Vic. Vic is completely oblivious! And I get to see him mope about. I offer to tell the guy myself but Howl goes nuts at me even suggesting it.

“Ha! My suggestion? Pick a closet nearer to the bunks and make it known that that’s where the extra blankets and pillows are. They’ll get the hint.” Steady rolled his eyes.

“And Tadhg’s lover isn’t for me to approve or disapprove of. I find him exhausting, but he makes Tadhg happy, and that’s what counts. Force knows that Tadhg doesn’t approve of half the people I sleep with, and I’ve never taken his opinion into account on the matter.”

"Mhm but you feel protective of him so you want what's best for him. That's understandable. You want the kid to be happy but you want to make sure that pilot of his treats him right. If he is and they respect one another good for them, have to live in the moment, you never know what tomorrow brings."

“Wanting to protect him, and should protect him are different matters. Tadhg’s entitled to his bad decisions. But there’s no real danger here. Brass could have won a medal for least subtle courtship in the GAR, but there’s no doubt that he cares.” Steady frowned. “I’m gonna sound like an ass here, but I could swear we’ve met.”

Chuckling at that Sten tilted his head glancing over at him. "Really now? I'm insulted, I feel like I'm quite memorable!...It's possible, meet countless clones in our lives, maybe in the academy when we were cadets?"

“Maybe? We both went through as sergeants I’m guessing? Didn’t go by my name until I’d been out for a while.” Steady spread his hands open and shrugged. This had happened a few times when he ran into the older vode. It wasn’t that they had had problems identifying each other by number back then, but the intervening years and the drive to change their appearance from the default made it hard to line people up with old memories.

"Hm, weren't many names back then. Wasn't too crazy about going by a number though, don't like them, it's why I insist on calling my guys by names. Sometimes I do get someone who doesn't have name yet make sure they get one quick."

“That’s good. Numbers sped up paperwork, but when you wanna talk you need a name. But speaking of paperwork, we should probably do some.”

Making a distressed noise Sten dropped his head onto the desk pouting again. And for a while they worked. Sten was a quick study. He already knew a fair bit about giving the GAR the mushroom treatment, but Steady guided him to the cracks that were most exploitable for keeping the station well stocked.

"How much more do I need to learn, my head is pounding..."

“Okay, okay. Anyway, it’s about meal time anyway.” Steady’s stomach growled to emphasize the point. “You’ve got the general principle of it all anyway. My only other pointer would be to recruit one of the guys into helping you. It goes easier when you aren’t shut up by yourself.”

"Noted...Hm...guess Blitz is an option though I'm already putting enough pressure on him. I'll think it over, guess I need an assistant of my own!" Standing up he stretched out his arms making them crack and smiled.

"I could go for some food, I didn't eat at all this morning I was so nervous! All that weight is off my soldiers I could float away. Maybe I'll turn on zero grav, have myself a good time?" He teased giving Steady a light nudge.

“There have been worse ideas.” Steady leaned into the touch. He thought of the bottle of moonshine he had tucked away on the shuttle. It might be worth it to bring it around to Sten’s office after dinner.  
  
“And for what it’s worth, I wasn’t looking forward to this trip either. We’ve both been pleasantly surprised today.”

"Well it's nice to know I have been able to impress and please, I am a delight. Though some have commented I'm strange but whatever my methods work! Bet you my left hand Brig and Marks will be doing it be the end of the night! Or just be best buds after, either way it's a victory for me." A conspiratorial smile passed between them.

“May they figure out there are better things to do with all that pent up energy than punch each other. For both yours and Blitz’s sake. Though I might take you up on the bet anyway. Hard to see how I would lose. Now, if you’re willing to put up with my curmudgeon self for a little while more, I really could use that food.”

THe cafeteria was much smaller than Steady was used to. Which of course it was. This station only held a single squad, not an entire battalion. Still, it struck Steady how much more intimate it was with only a few tables and far less noise.

"So you're finally going to eat a full meal today?" Blitz questioned as he walked up to them. "Steady here's something you can enlighten the sarge on, actual food, he needs it. Doesn't seem to listen to my scolding."

“If you do the work to get the food, you might as well eat it,” Steady demurred. If he had been missing meals to feed his hidden men, it would be less obvious when he didn’t eat with the others. Steady wasn’t about to out him for that. But he wouldn’t have to anymore. Steady could see to that.  
  
“Everything settled on your end?” He asked toward Tadhg and Mouse. Tadhg had just shoved a giant forkful of whatever _this_ was in, and made a noncommittal shrug.

Chuckling softly Mouse seemed amused as he turned to Steady greeting him. "We did pretty well, I was able to learn a lot from Tadhg. Can I ask how is the 501st? The 212th still works closely with them, right?"

A look passed between Tadhg and Steady and a silent decision was made. If news of Umbara hadn’t made it out here yet, it wouldn’t come from them.

“General Skywalker continues to be terrifying and persists in being friends with General Kenobi, so we keep working with the 501st. They’re doing about as well as any of us,” Steady told him. And that was more or less the truth.

Mouse’s expression lightened and he laughed.

“It’s good to hear that. I regret to say I didn’t contribute much when I was there. I’m rather deficient, it’s wonder I made it off Kamino and Geonosis.” Mouse explained with a small sad smile. “I didn’t have any bonds with anyone then but I always respected those I fought with and Captain Rex.”

Steady frowned and was about to say something, but Tadhg beat him to it.

“Well apparently you fought hard enough to get your eardrums blown out, so I don’t imagine anyone worth listening to could have any real complaints. Anyway, at least you can count, which is more than can be said of some of Kamino’s best and brightest in my squad.”

"Thank you,” Mouse’s smile widened. “ It's funny, I had no arguments about dying, I had accepted the fact I would be destroyed so when I came here I was at a loss. I told the sarge that I didn't have a reason to continue living and he said to me find one." He glanced at Hawke, Howler and Vic sitting at a nearby table. THe trio seemed to be talking happily about something all smiling and bursting into fits of laughter. "I found three very important reasons to live."

“This is a good gig you have going here. I’m glad,” Tadhg said. Then, “could you pass the hot sauce?”

Steady groaned. He wasn’t even sure that Tadhg actually had taste buds at this point. Kid'd probably eat a rock with enough hot sauce on it.

Steady surveyed the table with satisfaction. He’d seen enough to know when a squad would work. There was no guarantee, no safe, but groups like this would make whatever they had count. You took your victories where you could find them.  
  
“This really is impressive, Sten. I am impressed.”

“Thanks, we all work our asses off despite how it seems.” Sten grinned and Steady again thought of how much he really did like that smile.

Sten stood up, cupped his hands around his mouth, and he took a deep breath.

“Hey everyone! Make sure to say great things about me when this guy starts asking you questions!” He shouted causing a few laughs and shouts from the others.

Steady leaned in close as Sten sat back down.

“Well seeing as how we’re in a celebratory mood, why don’t I bring by the bottle of 212th hooch I have tucked away on the shuttle after dinner. Consider it an apology for making you fill out forms all day,” he said softly then winked.

"And how could a possibly deny such an apology. You are very much forgiven. Can't remember the last time I had a decent drink," Sten replied in a low voice.

“Decent might be stretching things. But it’s drinkable without anything worse than the usual side effects,” Steady said keeping his voice down as well and grinned.

“So it’s a date then?”

“Yeah let’s make it a date.” He said smiling and giving him a little wink.

Steady leaned back and found himself enjoying the rest of the meal despite the unrelenting blandness of GAR food. And at the end of the meal he found himself heading back to grab the booze with more than a little anticipation. And if Tadhg gave him a withering glance as he headed back out, Steady could console himself with the fact that Tadhg slept with Brass and clearly had terrible taste.


	3. Chapter 3

Getting back to his office Sten he took out two glasses and pulled over another chair for Steady to sit in. When the lieutenant returned with the bottle Sten couldn't help but snort a little. "So did you bring that so you'd be able to endure this mind numbing boredom?"

“More or less. Happy to put it to some better use though.” Steady uncapped the bottle and poured the dark liquid into the glasses as he took his own holding it up, “Cheers.”

"Cheers." Tapping their glasses together he took a long drink of it ignoring the burning in his throat. Wow, kinda strong, been a while since he’s had something like this, not since his last trip to 79’s. "That...sure is something. So I'm curious how'd you get your name? Steady hands? Badum tsss." Chuckling at his own joke, Sten cracked himself up at times.

He was hilarious!...Hopefully Steady thought the same.

“More like even temperament. But I’m not bad with my hands either.” Steady said and raised his eyebrows as he matched Sten’s swallow.

They did seem like nice hands, shame they were under those gloves, dumb gloves. Stupid gloves...

"Mhm those are important to have. Mine's boring, used to be a old model class of machine gun called stens, thought it was cool so I became Sten. Least I can say it's unique." Wasn’t a lie, Sten had been his first name, he thought it’d be cool to be named after a weapon, it’d make him feel more like one.

“Sounding good is as good a reason as any. Tadhg picked his name because he was worried that if he didn’t get something else to stick everyone was going to start calling him Checklist. At least we get some say in the matter and aren’t just saddled with some dead person’s recycled name or whatever nonsense the birth born folks have to deal with.”

Steady leaned back and propped a knee on Sten’s desk. “So no one here has gotten ambitious and started trying to ferment something illicit? I’m kinda shocked.”

"No real troubles here...there was Zapper who somehow managed to steal a large portion of the chocolate supply right from under my nose. That was impressive. Fights, which I deal with, few guys trying to antagonize me which never really works. Some who even threatened me for what I've been doing here."

Drinking the rest of his glass he rolled his eyes. "You're just as deffected as they are, punched him out." Maybe he was a little broken but who wasn’t in this war?

“Gotta love it when they think they’re smarter than us. Since getting bumped up I now get the fun of dealing with sergeants under my command who apparently don’t realize I did in fact have their job and I know all the officer management tricks.”

"Mhm, it's always fun when you hear someone say you didn't earn your position. I worked my ass off studying wanting to prove I could do it. Now you may not believe this but I wasn't that social as a cadet. I was actually kinda grumpy."

“No,” Steady drew out his mock disbelief. Ooh, he was a smartass, Sten was liking Steady more and more by the second.

“I didn’t really want to get bumped up, I like having a little more direct connection with my men. But my last LT owned up that I had been doing half his paperwork, little snitch, when he got moved up, so did I.” Steady gestured to offer to refill Sten’s drink.

"You know you're quite charming when you want to be." Giving a nod in wanting his glass refilled he nudged Steady's knee with his hand playfully. "So you were dragged up a rank, what a shame. One less handsome sergeant in the world."

“Well it got me here, so there’s some good luck. We’ll see how far that luck can take me.”

Why...did he set the chairs on the opposite sides of the desk? That was stupid.

"It did, so I guess you luck is infectious which is good for me." Finishing off his second glass he sighed softly pushing it away, no need to go overboard and wake up with a pounding headache. "I can tell you're a good guy, you give a damn, that's becoming rare, it shouldn't be."

“Numb’s easier in the short run, but then what? What do you survive for? The trick is convincing men they don’t have to die. You seem to have a knack for it. Can’t all be for your men though.”

It was for his men of course it was, he was their leader he had to give them some hope. Watching as Steady stood up suddenly and walked around to his side of the desk, Sten was a bit stupefied at how close he suddenly was.

“When was the last time you did something for yourself though?” He leaned forward and put his hand over Sten’s.

"I..." For a second his brain refused to work when he felt Steady's hand over his own. When was the last time someone was close to him or offered him a gentle touch? Not since...a lifetime ago. "I don't remember the last time I ever...thought of myself." He whispered as he tilted his head up to look him in the eyes.

Why would he think of himself?

He could see Steady swallow hard and a strange look appear in his eyes, was it...sympathy? Sten couldn’t understand why he’d feel that way toward him a stranger and yet he was almost glad in a way. To have someone worry about him. “What do you say we change that?”

It's been so long, two years but it felt like longer and he was secretly scared of being a disappointment. Kriff, he didn't want to be an awful time and he...wanted this. He did want it, something about Steady was just calming. "It's...been a while, I...I don't want to be a let down." He confessed in a weak voice wishing now for another glass to drink.

“I wouldn’t worry about that,” Steady let his fingers trail down the back of Sten’s hand before pulling back a little. “But listen, if we’re going to do this I need to make two things clear. First, my support for your work here is unconditional. Whatever does or doesn’t happen between us won’t change that. You’ve already offered me a lot of trust and I know I’m just asking for more here, but I won’t hold anything that happens now against the success of the Speck.”

“Second, I’m bad at romance and worse at monogamy. I’m not looking for something meaningless. I like you. I care. But if you are looking for forever with a one and only, I’ll disappoint you, and I genuinely do not want to do that. Are you ok with that?”

Whole speech planned and everything well he could appreciate the honesty.

Besides he had his one and only.

"Yeah, yeah I get that, I understand. I mean, I understand and I'm not objecting to having a kinda...companion? Ugh, how do I word this? Feelings are fucking confusing...A companion, a friend? Like you said not a one and only but someone I can depend on that's okay right? Someone like that? A partner? That the right word for it?"

He just wanted someone there, someone he can trust, someone he could confide in? Was that crossing that line?

“Partner works. Friend’s good too.” Steady suddenly looked pretty relieved and Sten inhaled sharply when he leaned in until his mouth was near Sten’s ear. “Now why don’t you lose some of these clothes. I wanna see if I can make you yell loud enough to scare whoever’s fumbling around in the closet next door.” And he punctuated the sentence with a quick kiss to the temple.

"Y-yeah." There went his brain again and he sat their motionless for a few seconds before he finally started to move. He shouldn't be nervous, there was nothing to be nervous about, he's done this before. Starting to remove the layers of armor he wore he slowly peeled off his shirt, been a while since anyone had seen him like this.

Steady had scars that littered over his body, he had been marked by this hellish war as well. An irregular blood red patch was tattooed on his left side near the base of his ribs and was outlined with the fuzzy black of amature line work. When his back was turned to him Sten could see names on his back or rather a mix of CT numbers and names. There were quite a few, maybe friends Steady had lost along the way. Unlike the one on his side, these were neat and cleanly done.

One stuck out the most it was at the base of his neck the first real name name of the bunch, Heart, that must have been someone very special.

Sten had his fair share of scars too, a majority of them on his left arm, a rather large one by his shoulder with multiple others marred on his dark skin like he had been in a knife fight of some kind. Right below the largest scar was a name tattooed, the ink faded and old but still readable.

Sunshine and on his right shoulder was another name, Joy. Turning to look back at Steady about to make a joke about paying that closet a visit he could see his expression slowly changing and it made Sten frown. "Steady? You okay?"

“Oh kriffing hell, you’re Sun. That’s why I thought I knew you. You’re Joy’s Sun.”

It was like having the wind knocked out of him for a few second. He knew Joy. But who didn’t know Joy in the 212th at the time. “That’s not my name.” He manage to say despite the choking feeling that was now gripping at his throat.

Steady reached out and cupped a hand under Sten’s chin. “It was though, wasn’t it? When you were in the 212th?”

Their eyes were meeting again and Sten wanted to look away, he wanted to shove Steady out of here and just forget any of this was happening but he couldn’t, he...wanted him to stay desperately.

“It was fine. It was fine. I was fine. We were fine. Then that fucking crash happened and...” Gritting his teeth he fought any tears that dare try and fall. Crying wouldn’t bring Joy back, nothing would.

He didn’t want to talk about this. He never talked about it. What was the point of talking about it? And yet deep down he wanted to. He wanted to tell someone but how could he dump all that baggage on Steady?

Steady let his hand slide around from under Sten’s chin to the back of his neck and gently urged him forward. “He’d tell that story about the beach to anyone who would sit still long enough. But he knew his chances. He just figured out a lot faster than the rest of us that you have to work on the assumption you’ll make it, or what’s the point.”

“Yeah...yeah he did. Still don’t know why if everyone he bothered with me. Then he called me that name and I...”

You finally had a reason to live.

Gritting his teeth Sten pressed his forehead to Steady’s shoulder. “This is his arm. I woke up with his arm on my body. I was supposed to go back to the 212th but they found me trying to hack his arm off.” Laughing bitterly he shook his head. “He said he was going to keep me alive no matter what and he did. He gave me all he was.”

Silence followed for a few minutes, neither one of them speaking, Steady probably had no idea what to say to all this. Feeling Steady’s free arm wrap around his waist and kisses placed on his shoulder it made Sten’s heart clench painfully. Why was he being so gentle? Why was he being so kind?

“I was with him, for a while. After the crash. You were out cold, so I stayed to keep him company for as long as they would let me.”

Tensing for a moment he took a deep breath as a few tears slipped down his cheeks. “Was he...how was he? He wasn’t suffering was he?” Sten whispered trying not to think of Joy suffering in pain. “I couldn’t even say goodbye. By the time I woke up we were in that room and they drugged me. I couldn’t even tell him...one last fucking time that I...fuck, fuck, fuck...why am I crying?! This isn’t helping! He’s not coming back! He’s never coming back!”

“If you want to cry, cry. It won’t bring him back, but he’s not getting any more dead either.” Steady started to rub his thumb in small circles where it rested near the nape of Sten’s neck as a comforting gesture and the sergeant didn’t want to admit how desperate he was for this kind of affection.

“As for goodbyes, don’t beat yourself up too much on that front. He didn’t want one from me. He... he was remarkably calm. He mentioned something about how if reincarnation was a thing, he wanted to live by the beach next time around. I said something idiotic like maybe I’ll see you there then. So that’s where we left it. Just, see you later. In the end the only thing he seemed genuinely worried about was you being alone.”

“Of course...of course the last thing he’d worry about was me. That idiot, that stupid...him and that damn ocean.”

Squeezing his eyes shut he could see him so clearly, smiling talking about standing on that beach wanting to look out to the horizon.

“...He was always worrying about everyone else I couldn’t understand it but now I do. I understand so much of what he said now. And I try to keep him alive in that way. To smile, to make others laugh, to give them something close to the home he always wanted. He cared so fucking much even when everyone gave him shit over it.”

“Well, he busted a few heads over the issue as well, so he got his own back. I think the only reason I got a pass is because he knew I had just lost half my squad when I took a pass at him. Including the one who was the closest I’ve ever gotten to actually falling in love. He didn’t back down any, but he didn’t try and put me through a wall either, so I got off light I suppose. Which is funny because I was looking for that fight.”

“He...he probably knew you were hurting. He seemed to always know that. Like he had a weird sixth sense when it came to emotions…” Joy had told him he looked like a lonely person and he had been right.

“He would have loved it here. I couldn’t place why everything you said earlier sounded familiar, but it’s him isn’t it? These are all his ideas writ large.”

“They are...all of it. I...I don’t know how many times I almost...I wanted to give up. Then one day I looked at myself and...I couldn’t let his dream die. Our dream. So I forced myself to be ok. To act like him to...be better because I wanted to be better. I wanted to help our brothers. I wanted someone to have that future even if it wasn’t me. Someone, anyone...”

He had to keep Joy’s memory alive in some way and this place had been perfect for it.

“Hush. This is good. You are doing good.” Steady pressed another kiss to Sten’s neck

“I’m sorry. I keep putting you through your paces today without meaning to.”

"I never told anyone...no one. You're the first person I ever...I didn't really want to talk about it for a long time but after a while I realized, who the fuck could I talk to? Now I'm dumping this on you, suppose to be a fun night and here I am crying all over you. M'sorry...I must look like an idiot for losing it."

“I have someone’s blood spatter tattooed on my ribs because I didn’t want to wash the last piece of him I had off. I don’t think I get to make judgement calls on what a reasonable amount of mourning is. But really, between worrying for the safety of your men and me pulling all this back up... it’s been a long day. Maybe we should just get some sleep.”

"I'm sorry...I'm sorry." He fucked up, he fucked up something that could have been good. His body felt so heavy right now and his mind was just gone, there was just so much happening in there.

“Or you quit letting me make assumptions about what you want, because I’m clearly garbage at it.” He pulled back so he could cup Sten’s face in his hands.

“Tell me how you want tonight to end, and that’s what we’ll do. Just know that even if this didn’t go the way I thought it would, I’m not disappointed. I think you are amazing.”

"I...I just..." What the hell did he want? He doubted he'd be able to get into the mood now, not by a long shot and that sucked because Steady was kriffing attractive and it had been a while since he felt that toward anyone but Sten was so mentally exhausted he didn't have it in him. "I just don't want to be alone." He whispered softly.

He was so sick of being alone.

“You aren’t. You won’t be. I’m not going anywhere tonight. I do think sleep might be a good idea though. Like I said, long day.”

Nodding his head weakly Sten barely noticed when Steady helped him walk over to his bed and sit him down. He was so tired. His whole body and something more than that too. His heart and soul? That kind of deep shit he never really tried to think about. "I don't...regret it." He managed to say finally he could just about register that Steady had wrapped his arms around him again. "I don't regret...loving him. I don't think I ever will."

“Good. No regrets. Now get some rest. I’ll still be here in the morning.” Steady shifted and tried to make himself as comfortable as he could while keeping Sten tucked next to him. As he drifted off, he was struck by how content he was. For all the tumult this was a good day.


	4. Chapter 4

Morning came too soon. Steady groaned at the sound of the alarm, pulled the blanket over his head, and curled into Sten who had rolled over to face him. He had a slight headache and his mouth felt sour.

“No,” He grumbled.

"No is right..." Sten rubbed his eyes a moment before curling up around Steady and passing out again. Steady made a little hum of pleasure. He was content at finding that he was still sharing the bed. He didn’t get to spend a full night with someone he liked nearly as often as he would wish to.

In the end it was Tadhg banging on the door and yelling that convinced him he did in fact have to wake up.

“Steady, I know you’re in there! Quit being gross and put some clothes on! We still have work to do!” There was a distinct pounding of feet as Tadhg headed back down the hall.

“Sorry about that,” Steady murmured as he dug himself out of the bunk.

"It's okay, if it wasn't Tadhg it would have been one of mine." Sten sat up and stretched a little and glanced around a bit before hesitantly turning to look Steady in the eyes.

"I wanted to say...thank you for last night. For being there when you didn't have to be, it meant a lot."

“My pleasure, honestly.” Steady grinned and kissed Sten full on the lips. Sten leaned into the kiss a moment then nodded and smiled.

The two dressed quickly. As Steady sat on the edge of Sten’s bed, ostensibly to put his boots on, but he slid a few of the hard spice candies from a pouch on his belt under the pillow when Sten wasn’t looking. Then they left his office ready to dive back into their duties.

“So what else to you have to look into for inspection?”

“Thought I’d drill the men on emergency protocols. Not that I think they don’t know, it’s just good to make them think about them now and then. Other than that... you tell me. What do you want my help with?”

"Well food was a priority which you have saved us from...personal hygiene? Some of the guys think they only need to shower twice a week? Out in the field I understand but in a station? I've wanted to die with some of the things I've smelt." Steady knew Sten was joking, but there seemed to be an undercurrent of tension there.

“I’ll say something. Can’t promise it will stick though. I usually have the reverse problem to be honest. Something about being sent planetside for three weeks in cold sucking mud makes you appreciate a good wash in hot water. Say nothing of the, ah, group activities that I’ve had to break up.”

"You think they'd enjoy being spoiled. I remember one time falling up to my neck into mud, took Commander Cody and several other guys to pull me out." Sten wrinkled his face and shuttered.

"It's harder to convince the guys who think being here is a punishment...it kinda is but eh, at least they leave. I haven't been planetside for the past two years." His expression grew whistfull.

“There’s always a few who aren’t happy unless they’re doing something dangerous. Never understood that myself. I know we probably missed breakfast, but is there any chance of caf?” Steady was a firm believer in the fact that the day did not actually start until after caf had been drunk.

"Oh there is always caf, trust me. I make sure of that. I'm an addict."

Getting to the mess finding it relatively empty he made a cup for each of them, handing Steady his. "I let the four raid the kitchen when we're in between rotations gives them a little morale boost, pretty damn fun seeing them get creative with what kind of havoc they can make. Ever race with chairs, those things can go pretty damn fast."

“Particularly if you knock the head off a fire suppression unit to use as propulsion. Not that I know anything about that.” Steady took a quick look around and spotting all the ingredients for a quick breakfast asked, “You mind if I?”

“Not at all...and that does give me a few ideas now.” Thinking of what he said Sten thought to himself as he watched Steady make breakfast.

This was nice it felt natural, Steady could probably become a natural part of his crew and Sten wouldn’t argue at all about it. Steady plated the food, eggs and a bit of bread buttered and toasted on the griddle, and sat quietly for a moment as he ate.

“As much as I’m enjoying my stay, I need to be back on that shuttle headed to the 212th by the end of the day. Staying past schedule could raise some red flags and I want you to keep the administrative oversight you’ve utilized so well. And I have men back there that need me to try and keep them alive. So really, if there’s anything else you need my eyes on, now’s the time.”

"Right, right...I guess there's nothing else to really go over. Wouldn't want to get the GAR's attention now would I? Hey I doubt anyone would actually remember me back there in the ranks but tell them hey from me. At least to Cody, he was a good commander, I was proud to have been able to serve beside him."

He wondered if Waxer and Boil were still around but decided not to ask, no need to get depressed again. "I have a question though, you have a bunch of names on you, I didn't get a chance to really read any of them. Is...Joy one of those names? Does anyone remember him at least?"

“Joy wasn’t in my squad, so no, his name isn’t... I carry around my men. I...” Steady paused a moment. “People remember Joy though. The ones that are old enough to know him. We’re getting a little thin on the ground, but he, both of you are missed.”

"Good." He was glad Joy was remembered, glad that there were people who remembered him and it did feel nice that some people even remembered him too. “Hard to forget a crazyass like him, a lot of guys were scared at the sight of him.”

Steady laughed, it was a laugh that made Sten feel kinda stupid almost like Joy’s used to.

"It's been pretty good having you here." He confessed as he patted Steady on the back. "Now I can say I've made myself a new friend, huh?"

“Absolutely. And I’ve found something some proof that not everything has gone to shit in this war.” There was that smile again, yeah Sten wouldn’t get sick of a smile like that, shame he wouldn’t see it more often.

Offering him a smile Sten took a deep breath feeling like some weight had finally been lifted from his shoulders. "Hey gotta keep home in some things, don't we?"

“I think it might be more accurate to say we have to make home where we can.” Steady grinned and stole another quick kiss before he headed out to finish the inspection.

"Yeah." Following him along the rest of the inspection went by well, no fights broke out, no drama just them doing what the were supposed to do.

So as Sten stood in the landing bay he watched the others bid Steady and Tadhg their goodbyes, seems like Mouse and the corporal have become fast friends. Hawke seemed to be getting a little choked up again but overall looked happy.

"So until next time?" Sten turned to Steady, "Better not get yourself killed out there, I'm going to need a drinking buddy when this is all over."

“Until then. And I’ll keep my eye out for something better to celebrate with than armature chemist rot gut.” And just before the doors closed he winked.

Raising his hand in a small wave Sten sighed a bit as he turned to the others telling them to get back to work. He almost wished he could go back to and see the others who were still around, wear that orange and white armor one last time.


End file.
